Friday, February 21, 2014

My Journey 2.21.2014

I am sharing this deeply personal information for other women that are going through the same thing. It is sometimes hard to take this journey alone. But, knowing there is someone out there with the same thing going on, makes you feel not so crazy and less alone.

I got my first period the summer after 6th grade, I was 11 or 12. What a weird and exciting time to be a girl. I remember getting these boxes in the mail that had all kinds of menstrual cycle goodies. There were pads – thick ones, thin ones, long ones, short ones, one of every kind! There were even tampons, just like mom had. I was excited to turn into a young lady.

Even with a heavy flow and very uncomfortable cramps, I guess I had normal periods when I was younger. I was put on birth control at the age of 13 since I was sexually active. I was on and off of the pill based on my income for a few years.

Things started to change in my late teens and early 20’s. I ‘changed’. I wasn't happy anymore. I was very very depressed. It consumed me and everything around me at times. I dove into many bad lifestyle choices. I was missing periods; only having 2 periods a year. I gained 80-100 lbs in little time. I was always 120 pounds. For years and years I maintained that weight. But when I ‘changed’ everything was different.

I had seen many different doctors over the years, had blood taken & ran. I've never had a doctor mention that anything was ever wrong with me. I had been having pelvic exams since the age of 13.

I started working at a gym in 2000 until 2003. I was working at the gym as a trainer and I taught Water Aerobics. I was working out every day, plus teaching my class and training with clients. How in the world was I not losing weight?! I ended up losing a total of 20 pounds in those 3 years. I eventually gained it back.

I found myself in the ER in 2003 at age 22. I hadn't had a period in many months and I started to bleed. It was bad; I thought I was having a miscarriage. The ER staff determined, after a trans-vaginal ultrasound & urine sample, that I wasn't having a miscarriage and told me to set up an appointment with an OB/GYN. Luckily, there was one at the hospital that a family member told me about. Said he was amazing.

I met my new doctor a few days later. He ran my blood work and reviewed all of my past medical files. He told me he’d call in a few days with the results.

I had just pulled into my new job’s parking lot. My phone rang. It was my doctor’s office. I was diagnosed with PCOS, bicornuate and tilted uterus. He told me my ovaries were covered in ‘cysts’. I was told a few things about this – but I’d need to come to the office for all of the details. I asked could I have children, probably not. I got off the phone and just sat in the car, crying. As a young lady who had always wanted kids, this was a big blow. It made me even more depressed.

So, since I was told I couldn't have children I made it a point to make myself not want children.

Of course my doctor told me that I could have surgery to ‘fix’ my bicornuate uterus, but it would still be tricky for me to get pregnant with a healthy child and stay pregnant full term without complications. Not worth it to me. I’m not going to risk my life or my well-being.

So it is now 2014. I’m currently 32 years old. My PCOS has not improved at all. I still do not feel like me. The only reason I have a period is because of birth control. I live with a constant headache & multiple migraines each month. My gut is unhealthy due to the birth control pills. I have a painful abdomen/pelvic. I've been stuck at the same weight for years. I've lost 1 lb since I started my 'diet' in November. I have no energy & I feel ran down constantly. I just feel like crap.

I follow Young and Raw on Facebook. There was an open Q&A session the page and I asked for good detox program for PCOS. Young and Raw suggested that I read Woman Code by Alisa Vitti. So, I've been reading it and it is making a lot of sense to me.

I’m about to change my life – hopefully for good. I have lots to do. I've been getting ready for this life changing step for a long time. With diet, exercise, naturopathic and a holistic approach I’m hoping to rid my body and mind of the symptoms of PCOS.

I’m currently dairy free and working on getting wheat flour/gluten fully out of my diet along with soy.

Soy and gluten are hard!!  They are hidden everywhere!!

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